


valentines day is for suckers (punches)

by horsetrackhiggs



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Rare Pairings, good for them! good for them., literally just a pair of shitty boyfriends who are bad at being a couple, other characters and relationships are briefly mentioned, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horsetrackhiggs/pseuds/horsetrackhiggs
Summary: The only Valentine's day experience Taiga's ever had was getting dumped by his primary school girlfriend in front of their entire class. Now he’s nearly 30 and has a boyfriend who’s definitely never once experienced the holiday.
Relationships: Graphite/Hanaya Taiga
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	valentines day is for suckers (punches)

The only Valentine's day experience Taiga's ever had was getting dumped by his primary school girlfriend in front of their entire class. (Which was a relief, honestly, because it was just around the time he realized he was gay so it saved him the trouble of having to do it himself-- and at the time he wasn’t all that good a lying, so he probably would have just blurted out the fact.)

Now he’s nearly 30 and has a boyfriend who’s definitely never once experienced the holiday. Hell, Taiga’s not even sure if Graphite is aware of what it is yet-- he’s pretty sure Drago Knight Hunter Z didn’t have an element of romance in the gameplay, and even if there was, it’s not like it’s something that would have anything to do with some stupid-antagonistic-hot-dragon-boss-enemy or whatever. 

Taiga still barely understands anything about video games. 

Maybe if there was a way a character could choose to kiss in-game Graphite he’d be more willing to learn. Not that he needed a video game for this. He was a grown man with a _very real_ video game boyfriend who he could kiss physically on the mouth anytime he wanted.

At first, Taiga hadn’t planned on doing anything special. It’s not like he and Graphite were the most conventional couple anyways, with the whole almost killing or actually killing the other. They weren’t like the other couples they knew. Kiriya and Emu made Taiga gag on a good day while Parado and his weird humagear boyfriend were already married somehow. Holding his own relationship up to the standards of the freaks they were surrounded with was pointless.

But then Nico brought up that due to Graphite having two younger brothers in sickenly adoring relationships might make him aware of the holiday. And sometimes ( ~~always~~ ), Graphite could get weird about things. It wouldn’t be so much the fact that Taiga wasn’t doing anything sweet on a day about love, but more the fact that Taiga didn’t tell him that such a day existed. Graphite didn’t like information being withheld from him, so he’d probably make it into some ordeal and last time something like this happened Taiga didn’t get laid for nearly a month. It was more enjoyable to be on his deathbed.

Maybe Nico only said something because she thought it would be funny to watch Taiga struggle to do something romantic at all. It was funny, Taiga’s sure, watching one’s older brother pace around his shitty clinic on the verge of tearing his hair out because he can’t figure out what to do for his boyfriend on a lame holiday they’d probably never celebrate again after this. Thankfully she at least held enough pity for Taiga in her heart to remind him that Graphite was easy to get a gift for and that every shop ever had special sweets waiting to bleed Taiga’s wallet dry.

So he did just that, picking up a baked good that was probably far too cutesy but at least it was made to be shared (sometimes Graphite will offer up a bite of whatever he’s eating, and when Taiga actually does give in and accept he gets this most adorably smug look on his face. Taiga’s not sure why he does, but he has a feeling that Graphite will give him an expression equally as good if Taiga were actually to try and feed him). 

Graphite’s already perched on Taiga’s kitchen counter when he gets into his apartment. He doesn’t look up or offer a proper greeting, but the way his demeanor shifts into something more relaxed makes Taiga’s chest feel warmer than usual.

Taiga’s not great with words. Especially emotionally vulnerable ones. The box is placed next to Graphite on the counter followed by Taiga quickly turning his back to do something-- pretend to get something out of his bag, so he can act like this really is no big deal at all.

“It is pink.” Graphite says after a moment, and Taiga checks over his shoulder to see that Graphite has opened up the box. Impatient as ever.

“So smart.” Taiga replies, checking himself out on a blank TV screen. Why’s he so nervous? Graphite’s seen him puking his guts out for over an hour mid panic attack before, his hair being a little messy isn’t a problem.

“Must all things be color coded for the day of Saint Valentines?” 

So Graphite _did_ know. 

“Who said this has anything to do with some dumb holiday?” _Why the fuck is he getting defensive now?_ “Anyways, who taught you about that shit? Don’t tell me you had to witness some cheesy event because of Lazer--”

“Snipe.” It’s been a while since Graphite’s called him that. Taiga’s not sure why it makes the corner of his mouth tug downwards. “The calendar does detail such celebrations.”

“Ah.”

Well, now Taiga just feels like an idiot.

Graphite clears his throat with a cough, hopping off the counter to instead lean against it.

“The gesture is sweet. Had I been aware of your desire to take part I would have taken the time to prepare something fittingly special for you in return, beloved.” 

“Didn’t do it because of some stupid day.” Taiga grumbles, tips of his ears heating up from the term of endearment. 

Lame ass dragon with his lame ass way of talking.

Graphite’s got a typical shitty grin on his face but drops the line of inquiry in favor of examining the pastry again while Taiga stands in the middle of their living room, antagonizing over his next move.

Sometimes the bugster made it seem like being in love came way too easily to him and it really pissed Taiga off. Graphite had always been the most affectionate of the pair, always the one who pressed up against Taiga or reached for his hand, saying I love you first or dropping a pet name. All while Taiga got embarrassed even referring to Graphite as ‘You’ with an edge of fondness.

No better time than the present, or some shit. If Taiga failed at being some doting boyfriend (something that Graphite has never expected from him), the worst that would happen is Graphite laughing in his face over it with no malice. 

Taiga takes a few steps closer, shoving his hands deep in his pockets so he could tug at the fabric out of view. 

“...’Phite.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but Graphite’s hearing was better than humans so he still caught it.

He looked...confused? Brow furrowed and head titled as he looked at Taiga expectantly as if there needed to be some great explanation for his boyfriend calling him a nickname.

This sucks. So, so bad.

So he swallows down and repeats himself. It doesn’t do much to get rid of the expression on Graphite’s face, but the bugster does nod slowly before pushing off the counter with a sudden glint in his eye as he makes his way towards Taiga.

Wow, maybe this doesn’t suck. Maybe being sappy and shit had its perks if Graphite was that desperate to get on Taiga after a simple--

Graphite is punching Taiga in the jaw unexpectedly. So, so hard.

Taiga really wished his first thought wasn’t about how fucking hot that was.

“What the fuck?” Taiga glares at Graphite halfheartedly, and Graphite is looking between his fist and his boyfriend with that bewildered expression again. “Literally what the fuck.”

Graphite huffed, arms crossing over his chest in a frustratingly attractive way.

“You beckoned me to fight, did you not? I was only answering your call to battle.” He states, and Taiga would have gone into hysterics if it weren’t for how overwhelmingly in love he felt in that moment.

All Taiga can do in response is flash Graphite a genuine grin before returning the favor.

By the time they remember the pastry, it can no longer be called a Valentine’s treat.

**Author's Note:**

> i didnt want to do my hw so i decided to indulge myself with graphite/taiga which i think is cute of me<3
> 
> hope u enjoyed and thanks to my friend henri for the title. their genius mind<3
> 
> u can find me on twitter/tumblr @dumbassology


End file.
